so over these nightmares

I have nightmares.  I wake up screaming and/or crying.  I have for almost 2 years now.  Guess who they're about?  Last night, I went to find his house and he was engaged and showed me a bottle of something, telling me that she'd cheated on him and he might be infected and die now.  She came home and I started throwing glass/ dishes at her.  I don't know why I keep dreaming about him.  I know that we're somehow connected, like when I dreamt about his heart problems, but I can't contact him now.  I am left bewildered, upset, and quite shaken.  I just remember a few months back, he chose me in the dreams for a few weeks... I'll bet that was when he'd gotten engaged.  But, just when I'm thinking I'm okay... boom.  Here's more dreams that are so real... my heart gets broken all over again.  I just can't deal with this anymore.  I'm living in hell and will not have my happily ever after.  I am in misery, even with others wooing me.  I believe the world will end on Dec 20... for me, at least.  I've had enough.  My chest hurts so badly.  So, I'm trying to decipher my dreams online (the only resources I have at the moment) and I've found a few things.  Here is one from tonight's ponderings...

I had a whole thing about what one website said, but I think they reported it... I'd think they'd want the traffic... if this post gets reported again, I'll just put it back up and assume that someone else doesn't like this post...