ten

a great album by pearl jam, but also the number of years it was last friday.

i know him very well.  i know how he thinks.  he's freaking out because of his age, marriages and now divorces all around.  time to marry whatever comes along... so, let's find something on the internet.  so not his style.

i should've done this or that.  he told me he should've done this or that.  i really should've moved up there a year ago-- to think, if so, he never would've met her.  and we'd been talking.  he even said things to the note of "if we were to ever try again..."  oh well.  hindsight. 

but, i want him to be happy.  that is true love.  the thing that bothers me the most is that we might not be together in heaven.  doesn't that sound silly?  i know i'm blessed because he was my life from 22 to 30.

i'm hanging in there, but sometimes i feel like my soul is dead.